Groundhog Day
Do you ever feel like home buying and renovating is akin to Groundhog Day? You're being asked the same questions again and again, or mulling over the same problem without taking any actionable steps towards resolving it?
Let me present you with a circuit breaker for when you don't know what action to take. To get you unstuck.
Make a list.
Break down the problem and dependencies.
Identify what can be tackled immediately, and by whom.
Eat the frog.
Make a list
The first thing to do is get everything out of your brain. I have an old school notebook, but I also find apps like Microsoft To Do or ToDoist great tools.
Don't worry too much about the format, wording or order. Just get it out. In fact, also write out all the other things you are thinking about. If laundry is stressing you out or re-arranging childcare, stick those on paper too.
We often feel like we need to do all the things at once. It's not true, and multitasking has been proven to be less efficient than focusing on one thing at a time. It's a hard habit to break, I get it. I catch myself ordering flowers half way through writing a specification document sometimes....I'm working on it ;) So let's create some order and reset.
I like to group things. Start with big headings. Use a highlighter, or digitally allocate your tasks and thoughts to sublists like 'house' 'work' 'family' 'shopping' etc. You'll feel better I promise. Now set aside some time to deal with each one and put it in your diary. If you need someone else to be present to help, book it in with them too.
Today we'll deal with 'house'!
Break down the problem and dependencies
Gosh, that sounds a bit formal! What I really mean is that we'll deal with the overwhelm of a BIG PROBLEM. Because that's how it feels when the homebuyer survey on your dream house comes back with five pages of red issues, or your contractor doesn't show up. Even choosing a paint colours can feel like a big deal if it's not your comfort zone or you feel uncomfortable.
So, Step One. Answer these questions:
Why is this an issue?
What about this worries you?
What needs to be done by when?
Why is this important?
What is stopping me from making a decision?
Who can help?
Step Two. Make a Plan.
Look for related tasks that will allow you to move forwards. Have you not chosen the paints because you don't have a colour card? Write down how you can unpick this. Pop into Homebase and get a brochure, or order some swatches from Farrow & Ball.
Tip: Start with the colour and worry about the supplier later. Most companies colour match. Join my mailing list for insider info like why to choose one paint brand over another.
Perhaps you just feel really insecure about the question at hand. Make it a task to find someone to help you with it and get in touch. This can be that friend who lives for decorating, joining a Facebook Group, or contacting an architect who can guide you through the Planning process.
The important thing is to IDENTIFY MANAGEABLE ACTION STEPS that move you forwards.
“Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein
Some things will be dependent on other steps. For example you can't get a quote without a design. Or at least an idea of what you want (I always say that the more specific you can be, the better your quote!)
Identify what can be tackled immediately - and by whom
You don't have to be master of everything.
Now look at the timescale for the problem and spread the action steps you identified over the time available to you. Grab a calendar, diary and write down when you are going to work on this step - rather than when it needs to be done by!
So often we just plan deadlines. I find it is much less intimidating to see dedicated time when I will address an issue in my diary, rather than a big red 'X' when I magically need to have resolved it by.
Naturally, work backwards from a due date to allow enough time to finish the task, but don't let yourself be hijacked by the deadline.
Finally, really question whether someone else can take responsibility for tasks on your list. Note I said 'take responsibility', not 'help'. I say this because there is a difference. Helping implies that they will do it if they can, but you still have ultimate accountability. Often that can be as stressful when you realise things aren't on track.
So delegate thoughtfully. Your job is to ensure the person you ask is willing to take this on for you. Discuss with them what you expect, when and ensure they have the information they need to do a good job. Check in with them...but try not to nag.
Be prepared to be as accountable for the tasks you hold!
By now you should have a clear plan of action, with an understanding of what needs to be done when, by whom. It's all about tiny consistent steps and celebrating milestones. Picked that colour? Have champagne! Decided on a floor plan? Frame it and hang it up as inspiration!
Eat that frog
This is just a reminder to do it.
You've worked through the process, now think of me eyeballing you across the room and just do it. Pick the thing you LEAST want to do and just make a start.
[Author Brian Tracy calls this “eating your frog,” quoting Mark Twain. Twain famously said that if the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you. Your frog is your worst task, and you should do it first thing in the morning.]
What step are you going to take RIGHT NOW to move you forwards?
Tell me in the comments and hop on over and join our Facebook Group to share your progress!
Wow - you made it all the way to here!
Thank you for reading, and cheers to that! Hopefully you found this helpful.
If you did, please share on social media and shout about my blog and resources to anyone you know in need of a bit of support (or just cheering up whilst the building dust flurries around them - I get it!).
Photo credits:
Photo by Max Saeling from Unsplash, Glenn Carstens-Peters from Unsplash, Philipp Berndt, Green Chameleon from Unsplash. Graphic image by Society6.com